I seem to spend a lot of my time being apologetic - not always out loud but apologising nonetheless.
I apologise for being able to work part time, whilst some of my friends and family work full time for only a slightly bigger salary than mine. Other friends have jobs they hate, or no job at all at the moment.
I apologise for not having a mortgage to pay.
I apologise for living in a nice house in a nice area of the city.
I apologise for shopping in Waitrose, having an organic veg box delivered and choosing Farrow and Ball paint over Dulux.
I apologise that I buy green coffee beans and roast them myself.
I apologise for not having children to worry about.
I apologise for having an elderly mother who doesn't need my daily attention.
I apologise for worrying about people who may or may not care whether I worry about them or not. These people may or may not care that much about me.
I apologise that all I do for my Big Issue seller is to buy a Big Issue when I feel there should be more.
I apologise that I don't drive.
My parents were very poor when they were growing up and when I was growing up. I have a strongly working class background.
For twenty-odd years two of us had a combination of good luck and hard work. Then stuff happened.
The upshot of all this is my current set of circumstances.
I like working part-time, shopping at Waitrose, roasting coffee, caring about people, not driving and I like my house.
I don't thnk this makes me a better or worse person than anyone else I know.
I can't deny that I'm irredeemably middle class (whatever that really means), but in my mind it's of no importance.
So why the hell do I keep apologising...and is anyone really asking me to?
