I seem to spend a lot of my time being apologetic - not always out loud but apologising nonetheless.
I apologise for being able to work part time, whilst some of my friends and family work full time for only a slightly bigger salary than mine. Other friends have jobs they hate, or no job at all at the moment.
I apologise for not having a mortgage to pay.
I apologise for living in a nice house in a nice area of the city.
I apologise for shopping in Waitrose, having an organic veg box delivered and choosing Farrow and Ball paint over Dulux.
I apologise that I buy green coffee beans and roast them myself.
I apologise for not having children to worry about.
I apologise for having an elderly mother who doesn't need my daily attention.
I apologise for worrying about people who may or may not care whether I worry about them or not. These people may or may not care that much about me.
I apologise that all I do for my Big Issue seller is to buy a Big Issue when I feel there should be more.
I apologise that I don't drive.
My parents were very poor when they were growing up and when I was growing up. I have a strongly working class background.
For twenty-odd years two of us had a combination of good luck and hard work. Then stuff happened.
The upshot of all this is my current set of circumstances.
I like working part-time, shopping at Waitrose, roasting coffee, caring about people, not driving and I like my house.
I don't thnk this makes me a better or worse person than anyone else I know.
I can't deny that I'm irredeemably middle class (whatever that really means), but in my mind it's of no importance.
So why the hell do I keep apologising...and is anyone really asking me to?
Sounds like you should cross out all those apologies in your script and be downright proud of your achievements.
ReplyDeleteNo apologies needed....ever!!!
If you feel you have to apologise then I assume you feel that people are pointing the finger and judging you...Tell them to go on their own merry way....they are jealous!
Anyway .. how can anyone, except those closest to us, really know what your complete life package is and what you have suffered/enjoyed?
Too much judging around today and not enough kindness.
@mocha
ReplyDeleteWhen I wrote this I had had a day when I felt like everyone was judging.
In fairness, the people that matter almost certainly never do.
It's a racing certainty that most of the "judging" is probably going on in my head.
Nice to be cheered on from the frozen north, though. Thank you.
Nothing to apologise for; unless you look down on the working class, you say you come from, for being working class. Then your apology becomes patronising and insulting! The big mistake the Middle classes make is that their particular group mentality, is the superior, the more knowable of the issues of the day, and knows the answers to the problems. This is like an arrogant teenager’s mentality, and just as annoying.
ReplyDelete@tyger. Thanks for reading, and commenting.
ReplyDeleteI think I can genuinely say I don't look down on anyone. There are people I like and don't like - but that is related to their behaviour not their class, or any other "classifiable" tag we give people.